:] <-----do this

Evening news is where they begin with 'Good evening', and then proceed to tell you why it isn't.

Accept that some days you're the pigeon and some days you're the statue.

Someday we'll look back on all this and plow into a parked car.

Adutls: They spend the first 2 years of their life teachingus to walk and talk. Then they spend the next 16 yearstelling us to sit down and shut-up.

Anyone who says "Easy as taking candy from a baby"has never tried it.

I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that I don't know the answer.

They say procrastination is the reason for my sorrow / I don't know what that big word means, I'll look it up tomorrow - Unknown

There are painters who transform the sun to a yellow spot, but there are others who with the help of their art and their intelligence, transform a yellow spot into the sun.

When I die, I want to go peacefully like my Grandfather did, in his sleep -- not screaming, like the passengers in his car.

Energizer Bunny arrested, charged with battery.

Everyone needs believe in something. I believe I'll have another beer.

A computer once beat me at chess, but it was no match for me at kick boxing.

I could've eaten Alphabits and crapped out a better essay.

How Many Roads Must A Man Walk Down Before He Admits Hes lost?

I am not a vegetarian because I love animals; I am a vegetarian because I hate plants. A. Whitney Brown

When you are courting a nice girl an hour seems like a second. When you sit on a red-hot cinder a second seems like an hour. That's relativity. - Albert Einstein

"One of the great things about books is sometimes there are some fantastic pictures." -George W. Bush

If you die in an elevator, be sure to push the Up button.

What if everything is an illusion and nothing exists? In that case, I definitely overpaid for my carpet.

Karate is a form of martial arts in which people who have had years and years of training can, using only their hands and feet, make some of the worst movies in the history of the world.

Wear short sleeves! Support your right to bare arms!


I felt like quotes from a LONG time ago today... also does anyone have any mints? XD!!!!!!